Who's messing with me?

I can't stop sneezing. I usually sneeze every now and then...but not as many times as I have today! Geez! When I was KU I had the same problem...sneezing a million times a day. Now, the 2ww is hard enough as it is...so WTH do I need to sneeze all day to make it worse! Ah! It seems that all my symptoms from last time are back and I'm not sure I like it. It's freaking me out BIG TIME. I'm already obsessed with everything this cycle and this surely isn't helping stay sane!! Ahhh!!!

Holy Phantom Symptoms!

So, I must admit that I "feel" pregnant. Only because now that I know what it feels like do I think this. Although, I know it's too early to technically have symptoms. I'm not sure what to make of it really. Tonight we went to my parents best friends house for a bday get together and I thought I was going to explode I had so much gas. I kept running upstairs to the bathroom! And my jeans were tighter today then the other day...which doesn't make sense cause I didn't wash them since I only had them on for a couple hours the other day. I didn't even eat for awhile before I put them on. Usually they would get looser. I'm really scaring myself honestly. I'm not sure I'll recover from a BFN very easily. I mean, hopefully being in Disney World will be a good distraction, but I'm so afraid that I'll be bummed out all week. And dealing with AF in the heat walking around all day doesn't sound like much fun as an alternative to a BFP either. I just want to know NOW! Grrr!!

On another note, I feel like such a good girl. My friend came over this morning and we walked 2.5 miles!! Yay!! We're going to do this as much as possible! I'm really hoping it makes a difference because I feel like shit about myself.

I'm freaking out...

So, I finally got my CHs! I'm so proud of my body...I O'd on CD19 just like usual. Yay ovaries! But, now I'm freaking out...I'm so nervous I won't get a BFP and I'm going to be extremely disappointed. I pretty much have everything invested in this cycle and I'm not sure how I'll react. Since my last cycle was wacky, I'll be testing before we leave for Disney now, as opposed to the day we come home. At least if I get a BFN, I'll be distracted...

On another note, I totally had a break down in the NY & Company dressing room today. I gained so much weight since the wedding. At first I gained just a few pounds...no big deal. Then Christmas came and I deprived myself of NOTHING. Then...I got my BFP and ate whatever I thought I could hold down, which most of the time wasn't a healthy choice. And then the m/c....which I used food to cheer me up. BAD IDEA. That was just adding fuel to the fire. Now, I don't fit in my clothes...and the clothes I try on in a way bigger size look terrible. Ugh, I'm so frustrated with myself. And I don't know why, but I've been really tired lately so I haven't been exercising either. I feel horrible about myself right now. Seriously.

A positive day :)

Yea baby!! My first +OPK!! W00T!! I was so excited when I saw this. It's very clearly positive, too...it's way darker!! So, between my + today and the O pains I had last night into this morning I'm pretty happy. If my O day is today then I'll be 12 DPO the day before we leave for Disney. So, I'm going to try to hold out til then...but I don't know if I'll make it! Last time, I'm pretty sure there was a VERY VERY faint line when I tested on 10 DPO but I didn't test again til 12 DPO which was clearly positive. Okay, DH just got home...gotta go!

Grrrrrr

I'm not happy. My temp went down drastically today. WTF?? There goes my CD19 O day since I got off BCP. I knew last cycle was going to screw me up. I'm so upset. I don't know if Vince is going to be able to keep up all the good sex. And, to further screw things up, he doesn't feel good today. So, who knows now. I did take Mucinex this am, just to see if that will help with my CM. But, it will be worthless if Vince doesn't feel up to it later. Ugh, I know I'm just rambling and I'm sorry. Blah.

Waiting to O...

So, after getting the good news that our chromosomes are normal (YAY), I was excited waiting to O. But, now I'm kinda stressed. Maybe if my last cycle wasn't screwy, I wouldn't be really worried, but unfortunately it was, so I am. I've been using OPKs this cycle for the first time and I'm not quite sure how I feel about them. They *seem* to be getting darker each day, but who knows. Maybe I should start taking pics of them? I don't know! I'm trying not to stress about it, but of course I am! And I think I'm wearing Vince out with all the sex...LOL.

On another note, I actually exercised this morning. Twenty minutes on the elliptical and I thought I was going to die. But I made it through and I'm really happy. Woohoo!! If I'm not going to be gaining weight cause I'm knocked up, then I need to lose it cause I'm fat. I don't fit in my spring/summer clothes and I don't want to spend money on new ones. I'm going to have to get a few things for Disney though since that's only a couple weeks away. But still. I can't believe I let myself gain this much. Having a m/c was really bad for my weight. I just ate and ate and ate! Not good!!

Oooh...did I just feel an O pain? Hmmm. God I hope so!

Our prayers were answered! Nicole, the genetic counselor, called with great news...our chromosomes are all there and very NORMAL!! This is such a huge relief for us. yay!