Mixed up...

So, despite the fact that I'm sick, we had our appointment with the genetic counselor today. She was nice, sweet and FREAKING PREGNANT!!! I've come to the conclusion it's probably just as awkward for her as it is for the people she's trying to help, though. But, it took a lot to come to that conclusion...lol. So, basically she made a little family tree thingy for Vince and I looking for any birth defects, learning disabilities or multiple miscarriages. Which, there really weren't any. One of Vince's nieces is a little delayed I guess you could say, but it's nothing major and more related to other circumstances, if you ask me. But with all 4 of Vince's siblings having children and my bro having two without any problems, I can't see why we would. She actually said to us that it's nice to have the testing so we can "warn" our families about potential problems. Umm, seriously chick? WE'RE THE ONLY ONES WITHOUT KIDS DOUCHE!! I thought of it that way, but politely said, I don't think that's necessary hahahaha.

Anywho, after that she explained the world of chromosomes to us. I'm not even going to begin to try to explain all that jazz here though. Basically, each person has a set of chromosomes that will then be passed on to their children. They are lined up and matched perfectly in most cases...but not in all, which is what happened in the embryo that caused the m/c. Two of the chromosomes that were supposed to match up, one from Vince and one from me didn't match up correctly. Now, this could mean two things: 1. One of our chromosomes is messed up, therefore being messed up upon arrival to embryo or 2. For some fluke reason they messed up when the sperm and egg met and started dividing and separating chromosomes and all that. Are you with me? I'm trying to make it simple....so, basically every time we get pregnant one of four things can happen.

• The chromosomes that are in the egg/sperm are fine and we have a perfectly healthy baby
• The chromosomes are mixed up but matched appropriately, just like the one of ours could be and the baby would be healthy
• The chromosomes are completely screwed up resulting in m/c
• The chromosomes are screwed up causing birth defects and/or learning disabilities in a full term baby

So, yea wow. A lot of things going on. So, Vince and I opted to have our blood drawn to see if one of us carries a mixed up pair of chromosomes. So, in two weeks we'll find out if this was a fluke thing or potentially a pretty big challenge in getting and STAYING pregnant with a HEALTHY baby. The genetic counselor already mentioned things like amniocentesis to check the baby for possible birth defects and what not. Vince and I had a very deep conversation over lunch while he ate and I played with my food. I have no appetite and can't taste a damn thing! We discussed the possibilities of what could happen and what we would do in each situation. They are all very hard decisions that I'm not sure I ever want to make.

I must say that my biggest fear right now is that one of us has a problem. I know it's nothing we could ever control since it's genetic, but it would be difficult to put the "blame" on one of us. I'm really hoping it's not Vince cause I know he'd really be hard on himself about it and I wouldn't know how to comfort him. I would rather it be me and I could suffer silently. So, now we must wait 2 whole weeks to find out what's going on. Two weeks of me holding my breath basically. More waiting, my favorite.