Well it seems like AF is on her way out. I honestly feel really good about this visit from AF...it was very...hmmm what's the word? Cleansing? I haven't had a good visit from AF since before my BFP, D&E and all that...so this, in my eyes, is a good thing. I don't think my ute was in any shape to carry a baby without this, so believe it or not I'm happy about it. Although, my mood wouldn't tell you that lately. I don't know if it's just the post-Disney blues or what, but I've been kinda cranky and down lately. I kinda just feel sad but I'm not really sure why. It might be my weight, too. I've gained so much weight and I'm just disgusted with myself at this point. And I've been worrying a lot about being a mom...I'm kinda scared to death I won't be good at it. I have tons of fears that I won't put a good enough effort into it...or that I won't be able to handle everything that comes with it down the road...like silly things...like homework and projects and stuff like that. They kind of seem irrational to me, but I can't help but worry myself. A few people have reassured me that it's normal to think like that, but I'm a little freaked out anyway.
I'm going to start the count down for Disney again soon. We'll be making a return visit in September. We've invited Mammy and Daddy to stay with us so I'm super excited! I'm pretty sure Mammy is definitely coming, but Daddy isn't so sure yet. So, we'll see. But either way, it's something to look forward to. Hopefully I won't be riding the roller coasters though!
So, I haven't talked to my so called BFF since my bday...which may not even count since it was just an email. I haven't really had the desire to talk to her since she always has better things to do then maintain our relationship...and the fact that she asked me if I was crazy when I told her I was PG. She wasn't really supportive during the m/c-D&E either...I know she probably wasn't sure what to do...but I think she could have figured something out. This may be another thing that has me down. I think I might email her. I don't know...we'll see.
So anyway, I already looked ahead to see when I would be O'ing this month. I hope since I'm working in the days leading up to it that I'm not too tired to get it done! LOL. Working 12 hour shifts back to back for 3 days straight is a little tiring especially if we're having sex every night...but I think we can do it!
So that's it for me right now! Thanks for reading!
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I just love Disney sooo much!! And I always feel "let down" and cranky when I come back home as well. I think it's just a post-Disney syndrome or something. We are kicking off our TTC adventure by taking a trip to Disney in November....it's also our anniversary. So I am super pumped!! It feels like forever away.
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear about your BFF problems. It seems like the older you get, the harder it is to maintain good relationships. I am just tired or chasing everyone down all the time to see how they are doing. It's frustrating being the one that always has to try to keep the relationship together. I've pretty much given up on most of my "friends".
I think it's natural to worry about all kinds of things during this process. Don't be too hard on yourself.
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