today was hard

So, today we went to the hospital to sign some consents for the D&E tomorrow and get some blood drawn. After I signed the consent, I said to Vince "I don't believe I'm here doing this. I really don't want this to be happening." A D&E for a Missed Abortion is what they wrote on the consent. That hurt like hell. Renee was great. She gave me a big hug when we saw her and explained everything thoroughly. Gave us time to ask questions and apoligized that this is happening to us. I'm really glad I found a great doctor. And oddly enough, I was glad to be at my hospital where I work. Seeing everything I knew and getting support and comfort from them was great. At any other hospital, I would just be another woman getting a D&E. I'm sure some people wouldn't want to be where everyone knows them, but I found it very comforting. I'm a little scared for tomorrow. She is going to try to get a piece of tissue to test...but I'm not sure what the point is. Even if it was a chromosome issue, she can't do anything to prevent that from happening the next time. I'm both excited and scared to death to TTC again. I will say that since this happened, my desire to have a baby only increased. I pray to God it happens soon. Please. I hope that made sense...I feel like it didn't...but oh well, it's been a long, hard day.