Slow motion

Time seems to be moving in slow motion. Ever since last Thursday time just drags on and on and on. Usually the days fly on by so this REALLY sucks. I've been analyzing every symptom that I have and whether or not I still have it...I'm driving myself crazy. I'm HORRIBLY constipated thanks to the zofran. Ugh. I've tried a few things today, so we'll see how I feel tomorrow. I have to work tomorrow for 12 hours so hopefully it'll go by fast...although I would love to be called off...LOL. So, we'll see. Everyone keeps telling me they think everything is fine...but then again, what are they going to say?

Trying to remain positive :/

So, I saw Renee today. She did an abdominal u/s in which she couldn't find the heartbeat. Luckily, the high risk OB was there and she called him in. He found the heartbeat rather quickly but was still concerned because it's what they consider to be low. It seems that there is a rather wide range span for early heartbeat from the quick research I did. The American Pregnancy Association says that 90-110 is normal for the 7 week mark. My OB wanted it to measure 120 or above. So, basically I'm in limbo until next Thursday when we try again. I'm trying to remain positive and optimistic, but it's so difficult. It's a lot easier said than done. Renee said that right now there are no special restrictions for me to follow. Basically, whatever will be, will be and there's nothing I can do either way....nothing to help, nothing to hurt. So, luckily I have plans or something to do everyday up until my next appt. My mom is going to come with me to the appt since Vince can't really take too many days off work and one or another, he's going to need them. I'm going to need support, or someone to celebrate with, and my mom is perfect either way if Vince can't be there. Renee isn't in the office next week so I'll be seeing the high risk doc, which is fine with me. So, please send any positive thoughts my way that you can and please say prayers. My symptoms are still kicking my butt, so hopefully that's a good sign!

Another appt, etc.

So, I saw Renee yesterday morning. My progesterone was perfect! Woot! So, I'm excited about that. I guess I'm just one of those women who spot...which is fine if the baby is fine. The abdominal u/s in her office still doesn't show much, so she wants to see me again next week, which is fine by me! I love seeing the baby in there!!

Unfortunately, last night, I puked. I'm such a big baby about throwing up. I just hate it so much. I know it means things are good for baby, but ugh. I hate it. It makes me not want to go anywhere, just in case. We'll see how it goes for the next couple weeks. I'm hoping it doesn't last long.

Every night when Vince and I get in bed, we pray. After we pray we kiss each other goodnight. Now, Vince leans down and kisses baby goodnight, too. He's so cute. I wanted to go out and get him something for Father's Day, but I'm not sure my stomach will cooperate with that plan. We'll see!

Woot!!!

OMG...there's a baby! The u/s tech made me very nervous. She didn't say a word the whole time she did the abdominal part and was pushing around pretty hard. Ouch. Then, I went pee and she did the transvaginal part. Again, without saying a word. She was making plenty of faces at the screen...with an occassional sigh. She told me to raise my hips up once...and to take a deep breath...neither of which she made me do the last time. And she had the screen tilted so I couldn't see it. Then suddenly after what felt like forever she asked if I had someone with me. I said yes, my husband is waiting...his name is Vince. So she said, I hate to leave you like this, but I need to step out for a minute, be right back. And, there I laid on the table with the probe up my hoo-ha almost in tears cause I had no idea what was going on. So, a few minutes later she came back in with Vince. She turned the screen towards us and pointed at OUR BABY! She showed us the heart rate and told me I'm measuring 5w6d, which is one day ahead of my estimation from my O date. So, all good news! I'm uber excited, but still very nervous. We cautiously told immediate family and close friends...but we're holding out telling everyone for a few more weeks, especially since I'm still spotting. It's all brown and a little lighter, but still makes me nervous. Renee told me to keep my appointment with her on Thursday morning so I'm looking forward to that to maybe see baby again! Thanks for all your well wishes and prayers and keep them up if you can!

Still spotting...

It's now Sunday and the spotting started on Thursday. I have periods of brown and some of pink. Sometimes it makes it to my underwear/panty liner, sometimes it's only when I wipe. Yesterday it kinda looked like the funky stuff I was seeing during the mid-cycle bleeding, so I'm hoping that means it's not affecting the baby. But, I'm still very nervous and anxious to get the blood results and the u/s tomorrow. I'm trying to remain optimistic and happy, but that's pretty hard to do.

On another note, today is Vince and I's first anniversary! Yay! I can't believe a year has gone by already....it's weird. It seems like the last year flew by...and although it's only been a year it seems like we've been together forever!!

still spotting...

So, I spotted more this morning than I did all day yesterday. Blah. Still brown...no red thank God. But, when I talked to Renee and let her know it increased since yesterday she said it's certainly *concerning* She said as much as I don't want to hear that word again, she didn't want to have to say it to me. Then she gave me my hcg level from yesterday. And it's a whopping 14,000! My highest level for my last pregnancy right before the D&E was only around 13,000 and that was about 7/8 weeks in...so this is great news! She said the level was encouraging! So, that helped me feel better. So, I'm going tomorrow for the blood work (including progesterone) and then on Monday for the transvaginal u/s since I don't think I should wait. Please say prayers!

Not again. Please not again.

So this morning when I woke up and peed, I noticed some brown-pinkish discharge when I wiped. Oh no. I took some deep breaths and got ready for work. Hoped that it would go away. Well, it didn't. It actually made it to my underwear by the next time I had to pee again. So, I called Renee and she told me to come to the office on my lunch break and she'd check me out. She did an abdominal u/s which gave us a clear picture of the sac. She said she THINKS she saw something in there which makes me feel better...but I can't wait for the transvaginal u/s. She gave me a slip to get one, as well as blood work today and Saturday to make sure the levels are doubling. So, depending on the results of those I'm going to see when I want to get the u/s. Either Monday, Thursday or Friday. I want to go when I'll see the most. I'm scared to death to go and see nothing in there like the last time. That will be my worst nightmare at this point. So, please pray for good blood levels that double.

Ok, Ok.

I know I haven't blogged since my BFP and I'm sorry. Things have been super busy around here! So, on Monday morning after the BFPs, I called Renee to let her know the news and unfortunately she isn't going to order any blood work or ultrasounds right now. I do have an early appt next Thursday when I'll be 6w1d. She mentioned doing an abdominal u/s but I know you can't see much. If that's the case, I'm going to ask her if I can get the transvaginal one done. I really need something to settle my nerves. I'm feeling much more pregnant this time around if that makes any sense, so that is comforting. I just started taking B6 this morning to see if that will help, although right now I'm more queasy than before I took it. LOL!