Thursday, March 19, 2009

I'm freaking out...

So, I finally got my CHs! I'm so proud of my body...I O'd on CD19 just like usual. Yay ovaries! But, now I'm freaking out...I'm so nervous I won't get a BFP and I'm going to be extremely disappointed. I pretty much have everything invested in this cycle and I'm not sure how I'll react. Since my last cycle was wacky, I'll be testing before we leave for Disney now, as opposed to the day we come home. At least if I get a BFN, I'll be distracted...

On another note, I totally had a break down in the NY & Company dressing room today. I gained so much weight since the wedding. At first I gained just a few big deal. Then Christmas came and I deprived myself of NOTHING. Then...I got my BFP and ate whatever I thought I could hold down, which most of the time wasn't a healthy choice. And then the m/c....which I used food to cheer me up. BAD IDEA. That was just adding fuel to the fire. Now, I don't fit in my clothes...and the clothes I try on in a way bigger size look terrible. Ugh, I'm so frustrated with myself. And I don't know why, but I've been really tired lately so I haven't been exercising either. I feel horrible about myself right now. Seriously.


  1. Try to relax sweetie! I am here anytime you need to vent or just talk!

  2. Yuck, I know how that feels. I have a battle with my clothes daily trying to fit my fat butt into the pants that are already a size larger than I want them to be. I've had a long battle with the "feeling utterly tired" monster as well. I went to the doc thinking I had a thyroid problem. He told me to exercise. I wanted to punch him in the face. How the hell am I supposed to exercise when I'm so darn tired.... But honestly, since I have started working out in the morning (it's only been about 2 weeks now) I've actually felt a little better and gotten more energy. It's hard to do, but I think it's important to try to get a routine down. The better you feel and the healthier you are, the better off for your future baby right?